This past year with my mom being gone has definitely had its ups and downs. I was trying to think through why I never felt compelled to blog during it and think I finally discovered that it was part of my processing of life. My mom was my outlet. She was who I would talk to and process things that I was thinking, learning about God and what He was teaching me and always my biggest encourager in whatever I was doing, including blogging. So...in a sense, without her, my blogging never felt quite right.
After a year absence, I can say that I have missed it and feel that it is time to continue. It helps me grow and view my life and its purpose in fresh eyes.
Continuing on with the theme of a year...we just renewed our Homestudy to adopt domestically for another year through our Adoption Agency Bethany Christian Services of Central Iowa. This past year has gone so fast and yet we keep waiting to see when is God's perfect timing for another child to be apart of our home. I knew the waiting would be hard but it has been even harder than I anticipated. My husband and I started a book called "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges. One of the sections of the book talks about obedience versus trust. It says, " Obeying God is worked out within well-defined boundaries of God's revealed will. Trusting God is worked out in an arena that has no boundaries. We do not know the extent, the duration or the frequency of the painful, adverse circumstances in which we must frequently trust God. We are always coping with the unknown."
To be brutally honest, some times I just want to throw the towel in and say I am done with this Trusting God part of life. I feel like as a child and even all the way through college, I had such an easy and "good" life. Then through experiencing infertility and now the death of my mom, life can get me down pretty easy. The great blessing in all of this pain and waiting though, as been that I am uncomfortable and desperately cry out to God and must depend on Him! We keep praying and asking for God to bless us with a child in his timing, however He chooses. It is so crazy that God can put such a strong desire in our heart and yet we never know when it might be fulfilled, if ever on this earth.
The other awesome thing in my faith is that our church just finished up an 18 week series on the book of Revelation from the Bible. I was not super excited about this but also figured it would be ok. Wow! Digging into this book was just what my heart needed. It helped me to understand so much more about heaven and what we all will experience as followers of Jesus. It is amazingly awesome and nothing we can fanthom until that day when it all happens. It also awakened my heart to be excited and way more intentional to share with others about why having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and trusting God to lead you in this life is so needed and exciting!! We can so easily get surrounded by others that believe the same thing faith wise and then we miss the opportunity to allow God to use you to build His kingdom! If you are reading this blog and do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, please email me at cmtownsley(at)gmail(dot)com. I would love to share with you about what it means to know Jesus' great love!
To end this post, I want to leave you with a song that has been so powerful in my life the past two months. It is called 'Thy Will" by Hillary Scott and Family. Click Here to listen.
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.