Monday, August 12, 2019

A Year In and Struggling to Let Go of that Control...

So....we have lived a year in Waverly and we would say we feel settled.  Do we still miss our friends from the Cedar Rapids/Mount Vernon area, yeah;  are we thankful for our new friends and church in Waverly, for sure!  We are so thankful for Matt's job and schedule for our family's needs and we love our neighborhood, house and our local coffee shop, Duo's.  We really have so much to be thankful for.  I think one of the benefits of moving to Waverly has been to see that even though we moved farther from family, we lean on each other as a couple and depend more on God, which is what he wants us to do anyway.  I also love that since we had to start all over, we were blessed with a schedule of minimal commitments so we can be less busy and choose to use our time wisely!  Heck, I started reading books again which really hasn't happened since college because I was burned out on reading so much then for my classes. :) 

I would say the hardest part of moving has been learning to trust God and that he is in control.  This, however is not new to us but very evident when starting over with everything in a new area.  One of the hardest areas to trust has been when our children are going to school and we want them to do well but school may not come as easy to them as it did for us! I am so thankful for teachers and how they work with students each day.  It exhausts me to be with my kids and I love them so much but I am not a good teacher.  When moving to Waverly, we had to build relationships with the staff at the boys school and they had to build relationships with kids, too.  It was a good reminder to me, even as an extrovert, how hard it is to build all new relationships with people.  We have no past with these people and they don't know our story.  Telling that story can be exhausting but it gets better in time.  

Another area that has really challenged me this past six months has been our 2 year old who has experienced some speech delays. It has been tricky to figure out what exactly was going on.  For awhile I was feeling guilty, because I felt like we must have done something wrong to stifle his development.  As an adoptive parent, my mind likes to take me there sometimes and I can feel extra guilty since the child is not biological.  However, these are lies and not from God!  We are finally making some progress and I have to remind myself that none of this was a surprise to God.  He knows everything and we have to trust his ways and seek His wisdom and not our own.

Matt and I have learned so much through our adoption journey and as we continue to raise two adopted children alongside our biological children.  We try to control so many things in our lives even though we really don't have much control over anything.  Adoption so clearly taught us that some things that we might have done differently as far as exposure to certain things with our biological children were not really as big of a deal as we thought.  We are constantly reminded that so many people in this world are hurting and need Jesus!  When things don't go as planned like speech delays, behavior issues at school and melt downs with lots of change in our schedules, it draws us close to God and we come with open arms to receive His wisdom, love and strength.  I challenge you to think about something that you are trying to control and hold so tightly in your hands.  Pray and ask God to start to help you trust Him with it.  Our relationship with God should be freeing and not a burden!

I leave you with this verse meditate on:  Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

No comments:

Post a Comment